Sometimes I feel like the scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz. I fumble for the right thing to say or worse – I fall over myself, and oftentimes I think “If I only had a brain.”
I can’t necessarily blame it on my medical issues; I’ve been a klutz as long as I can remember while somehow maintaining the facade that I could be coordinated or even graceful. I think the worst part of this act is that the coordinated part is sometimes true – the klutz just likes to come out to trip over her own feet while walking, or even more mortifying – while dancing with an amazing lead. I have been hypermobile forever, though, so maybe sometimes I can get away with it.
I KNOW I can blame the brain fog for some of the moments that make me laugh lately though. For instance, yesterday I grabbed my phone, wallet, and keys but set my phone down to get changed and lost it. Between being a space cadet and being in a dim room I had to call it from the house phone in order to find it. By the time I put the house phone on the charger I had lost my wallet in plain sight. I had to laugh at how ridiculous the situation was, and even a little at my stepdad’s inquiry as to whether or not I need a brain transplant. I didn’t dare tell him that sometimes I wished that were a possibility though.
Today I just kept forgetting to take my medicines even after telling myself, “Oh yeah, I should take that.” To be fair, I was so exhausted after dinner that I couldn’t bring myself to take my potassium knowing I would HAVE to stay sitting for at least ten minutes. It’s always so tempting to collapse into a ball of napping Angela after meals to begin with, it’s even worse when you know you’re not allowed to. So I took a nap, went to the gym, walked a few miles surprisingly well, and forced myself to eat while talking to my best friend about his fantasy football team (and surprising myself with how much I’ve been learning and it’s not bothering me for him to go on about it). I did this second meal bit specifically so I could take two of my six daily pills (after already skipping my morning pill by accident). But it was a scarecrow moment – I forgot to take my potassium and reflux medicine until it was hours later and I realized I would probably have to eat again. Worse yet, I think it was over an hour later by the time I decided a snack would be good enough and forced myself to eat again ultimately taking my dinner medicines at the same time as my late bedtime medicines and having to skip my night dose of the same medicine I forgot this morning because it came down to stomach medicine or intestine medicine because they have to be taken at least two hours apart. Oops.
Maybe eventually I’ll get healthy enough to no longer feel like an old lady with my six (soon to be seven or more) pills daily. Then brain fog and the failure to perceive time passing can’t get in the way of being a good patient.
And for further laughs, here’s my best imitation of the scarecrow. Who I may dress as for Halloween.
Oh, and, I don’t think anything says I need a brain more than forgetting to try to sleep at a decent hour at night. It may happen without my consent after dinner but sleep requires action that I forget to take at bedtime.