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October 15, 2013 / Ang

50 People On ‘The Most Intellectual Joke I Know’

Please excuse the off-topic nature of this post and how it doesn’t involve me talking to you about whatever is on my mind at the time. Instead, if you must think it’s relevant, embrace that this could be great small talk! Awkward jokes that are nerdy? Fantastic.

Thought Catalog

Mine: “Descartes walks into a bar and the bartender asks him what he wants to drink. Descartes says ‘hmmm, I don’t know’ and vanishes in a puff of logic.”

1.

Watch_Closely:

It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

2.

eclipsechaser:

Boris Spassky was once asked by a reporter, “Which do you prefer: chess or sex?”. Spassky replied “It very much depends on the position”.

3.

selorn:

“I’m a linguist, so I like ambiguity more than most people.”

4.

phattmatt:

Jean-Paul Sartre is sitting at a French cafe, revising his draft of Being and Nothingness. He says to the waitress, “I’d like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.” The waitress replies, “I’m sorry, Monsieur, but we’re out of cream. How about with no milk?”

5.

balloseater:

Q: What does the “B” in Benoit B. Mandelbrot stand for?

A: Benoit B. Mandelbrot.

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